Hellooo, Project Runway. How are you? I am so happy you're back on TV.
Yes, you are a reality show. No, I have no interest in fashion. AT All. Yes, I have to be at Pest Woint's Dedia May at Stupid O'Clock in the morning. But I can not turn you off. People are making "hats" out of baskets! And The Sternum!* It commands me to watch! I can't turn away!
*Please, please, get on Metro-North and come to my house. I will make you a sandwich. Please, God. I'm terrified for you.