Fred: mmm favorite nubbly blanket mmm
Me: Hey, buddy... Can we try to take a picture by the Christmas tree?
Fred: But I don't WANT to.
Me: Was that a yes?
Fred: Is The Kid gonna be in it, too?
Me: Ollie? I hope so. Bella, too.
Fred: I'm not movin.'
Me: Well, what if I pick you up?
Fred: I'll cut you!
Me: That whole "Big Bad Miami Gangsta' Cat" would be easier to buy if you hadn't been living in Stepford for the past five years, dude.
Fred: Mi Calle Ocho boyz-
Me: Oh, please. You were born behind a hibscus plant in a landscaped apartment complex in MIAMI GARDENS whose logo was a little golf course flag.
Ollie: Why his earses back? He no like mee?
Me: Oh, honey. He likes you just fine. Now, let's go sit by the Christmas tree.
Fred: I'll sit by the tree but I'm not looking at the camera.
Me: That's fine, Freddo.
Ollie: I posez like zis!
Me: Um, okay, that's a good start. Drop your chin down just a little bit.
Ollie: Like zis?
Me: Um...a little less "deer-in-the-headlights," little guy. Just relax and lower your head, okay?
Ollie: Mah feets stink.
Me: Kiddo, you kick sand over you own feces. You're a cat; it's a professional hazard. Look up, please.
Ollie: You sez chinsez down?
Me: That was before. Okay. Look! Ooh, waggly hand!
Ollie: Ah likes to play wif fingerzzzz!
Fred: Did...you.. say- waggly fingers?
Bella: Yoo hoo! I'm over here! I'm ready! I'm ready and here!
Me: Hi, pumpkin. I can see that.
Bella: I've been learning my angles.
Me: You've been watching too much Next Top Model.
Bella: Are you gonna PhotoShop out my eye boogers?
Me: Uh... sure! Always, Belle, always.
Me: Joel, can you all try to get them all together?
Fred: Fat chance.
Bella: This is gonna take awhile.
Bella: You know what? I'm outta here, too.
Ollie: Guyz? Guyyyz?
THE NEXT DAY
Me: You guys are all sitting like that? On your own? Really?
Me: AND we're done.
Fred: That was funny.