A pink carnation and a pick-up truck

Happy Birthday to the Person Who...

Loves when I get song lyrics wrong, but once believed that the song American Pie included the words: "I was a lonely teenage drunken f*ck" instead of "I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck"

Wraps presents much, much better than I do.

Seriously had to restrain herself from saying, "Look, use a condom next time and don't hit my car in the parking lot."

Will wear a red wedding dress, tradition be damned, this coming November.

Knows that "dammit!" can be the right thing to say on any occasion.

Really, really loves her dog.

Points at trees wherever she goes.

Is marrying a man who is kind enough to offer to follow my rental car back to the airport, so we can have just 20 more minutes before we have to say goodbye. (Oh, and this is when gas costs $3.09 a gallon.)

Is the consummate union bridesmaid and union-compliant bride.

Does the "Lapsed Catholic Feminist Head Bow For a Blessing Instead of Communion" manuever like she's been doing it for years.

May or may not have been the person who taught her baby brother his first word: "Shit."

Can go nine years without even thinking about the phrase "Soft as a Grape" and burst out laughing instantly after hearing it again.

Once gave me a Chia Pet for Christmas. (Which I loved.)

Knows just what you should do if your dog eats any of the following: the Thanksgiving turkey, sparklers, chocolate, birth control pills, Rise and Shine Orange Shower Gel from Bath and Body Works.

Happy Birthday, Kelbaby! Can't wait to see you! :)