Oops. Didn't mean to post a blank entry!

Hello, all. Well, I am back Up On My Soapbox- www.uponmysoapbox.blogspot.com - with information and opinions about post-partum psychosis and the Andrea Yates case.

I lost my claddagh. My ring, you know, it's an Irish wedding ring that I have been wearing since June 1998. And I love it. Oh, well. I figured it was just a matter of time anyway. I generally lose just about everything I like eventually- watches, wallets, scarves, rings. It's funny because I was just remarking to Alissa that I will probably lose it soon. I bought it in Ocean City, NJ. for $30; it's not like I bought a matching set with Stephen when we were in Ireland or anything.

Gwen is going to our favorite place in Ireland. It's a little town called Glendalough about an hour and a half from Dublin. There's a waterfall and two beautiful lakes and some monastic ruins. When Stephen and I were hiking through the woods there to the waterfall, we stumbled upon this crumbling 4th century cathedral in the woods. It was amazing. There were these beautiful broken arches and stairs that just went up to the sky, as the top floor of the church is long gone. When/if we decide to get married, and when we win the lottery, we want to get married there. :)

Oh, and by the way, this is a funny web site. If you like Sean Connery, and you saw Finding Forrester, this is good for a chuckle. And it's nothing like the last web site I reccommended, which caused some of you to feel the need to go to the ER. Sorry. Tee hee.

Did you know that Jason has a pair of leather pants? Not tight scary ones, big baggy ones. I haven't seen them on yet. Just a little Jason trivia.

Okay. Deep breath.

Two words.... Adventure Dog! :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You know who you all are. :) I love you.

Hmmmm.... Does anyone- Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Gwen? Scott?- know how to move those quotes down a little bit and make the background behind them blue? :)

Okay, kids. Happily, the new commenting system I am using allows me to edit and delete comments at will. I can also block users, which I have not done yet, as I feel confident that this disgusting line of commenting (if you missed it, don't worry- it was mostly about "snot") won't continue. I'll also have you know, that even when you use other people's names and websites to identify yourself, that you aren't as anonymous as you think you are. The system has a tracking mechanism based on your IP address, so I know exactly who you are. Not too smart, guys.

However, if you *were* smart, you would know how to spell "weird" properly, and you would also probably know that Gwen and I were two years apart in school, so we weren't in health class together and also not a year ahead of Nick, at least in my case. Okay? So play nicely, or I am taking your toys away and sending you home.

Thanks for stopping by Barbaric Yawp. Have a nice day.

I LIKE TO SHOUT! (And I miss Jo!)

I LIKE TO RAFT! (Alissa and I just booked a white water rafitng trip. I am sooo happy that I bought my underwater camera last year!)

I LIKE TO TEACH SANE STUDENTS! (As opposed to the insane ones I had to teach on Monday)

They threw milk at me. It was awful. They also swore, gambled, cheated on their homework, hit one another, made obscene gestures and pretended to light things on fire using liquid smoke. Sigh.... The other teachers came and checked on me after every period. Apparently, they had three other subs who walked out during second period earlier this year.

Today, however, I had a great day. Nice, sane students. It was good.

I am teaching French tomorrow. All I know how to say is, "Je suis au bouffan pour frommage esouffle." (I am a fool for puffed wheat.) Stephen and his cousin Ted spent two weeks in the summer of 1992 watching the Olympics, eating dry cereal and making his older brother Mark (who speaks like, six languages) how to say, "I am a fool for puffed wheat" in every language that he knows.

Okay, I have changed my template. Sorry, HEF, I know this is the same as yours, but I imagine that the Mistress of Leafy Green will redesign yours soon, yes? :) Basically, I began checking my blog on other computers and realized that others were not seeing the lovely, light tan shade I was seeing. Instead, it was more of a booger color. Who knew? Not me.

So, goodbye Khaki Tuesday...

Kelly has a blog now! Yaaaaaaaay!

So Nick, you may get a response to your inane "biology is destiny/we all act the way we do as a result of evolutionary behaviors related to the cavemen" theory now, from a woman who has a degree in this very thing. :)

Vile by Name. Vile by Nature. :)

This website is pretty cool. It's a kind of "What's Wrong With this Picture Thing." It tooks me a couple of tries to see it. It helps if you get closer to the screen and look closely at the windows. Also, they whisper clues, so turn your volume WAY up.

(And, since I'm NOT a bitch, DO NOT do this at work. Unless you're Gwen, whose co-workers will probably think this is cool.:)

OH, and congratulations to Becky who got accepted to grad school at Rutgers! I am so proud of you! However, we need to talk more, woman, because our Now Mutual Hairdresser Genius Vanessa was the one who told me!!! :)Today I taught my dog to sit, say, come, lay down, sit up, bring me a ball and shake hands in Spanish. She is a smart cookie. I think her ability to do these things mostly has to do with the fact that I also origingally trained her using hand gestures for most of those things, and so she recognizes the hand gestures and the tone of voice, but it's still pretty fcool to have her obey when I say "sientate" or "ven aqui."

I am brushing up on my Spanish in an effort to become more proficient with it when I am living in Miami this summer and (I hope, I hope, I hope) beyond that.... No Kinna Hurra Faerie.

Just a little hello to Kelly who is checking our blogs on a semi-regular basis these days. :) Mwah!

So I am enjoying a nice Saturday. My mom and I were going to go to the beach today, but then it was cold and rainy here and then the Weather Channel said it was rainy in Rehoboth Beach (I love this place!) so we spent a quiet day at home. I ate an ice cream sundae for dinner. Healthy, I know, but it was fun. I felt like a little kid again.

And- since everyone is weighing in on it- as for the New York Times article about relational aggression among girls (My mom copied it for me to read because she is doing a lot of work with this in her school social work job as part of an effort to crack down on bullying of all kinds), I definitely, definitely see it happening on the days I am in the classroom. The thing about two girls having a fight in which one girl becomes "Popular" and ditches "A Best-Friend-Forever-Elementary-School-Friend" in favor of some other "Popular Girls" who, in general, are not as nice as the aforementioned "BFFES Friend" scenario is something I see played out ALL. THE. TIME.

For those of you who haven't read the article, the woman who does the research bascially notes that when the Old-BFFES Friend tries to approach the Newly-Popular-Girl, say at recess or whatever, her new Popular Friends will immediately become extremely affectionate with Newly-Popular-Girl and throw their arms around her and talk about things that the "Best-Friend-Forever-Elementary-School Friend" knows nothing about in an effort to alienate BFFES Friend and basically make her feel like shit because the new "Popular Friends" are the only ones who REALLY know "Newly Popular Girl" etc. It's fascinating, really, how accurate the researcher's assessment is. It's sort of painful for me to watch when I am teaching or whatever because it's bascially the situation I was in when I went to Junior High and my two "Best-Friend-Forever-Elem-School Friends" ditched me to a.) have sex with 18-year-old guys or b.) play field hockey and do the whole elitist Hempfield thing. Hey, whatever. I survived. :)

Speaking of teaching, I agreed to teach every day next week. Why? Because I am stupid, really. I am exhausted just thinking about it.

I had so much fun on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. All the photographers and the photo editor at the newspaper where I freelance went to a conference and basically said, "Have fun. You're on your own." It was great. I worked so hard. Loved it, loved it, loved it. I am not a big fan of the handguns, though. Yeah, not so much. Two people got shot in the three days I was the sole photographer. Heh. My liberal heart is bleeding. Fortunately, one of the people, a 7-year-old girl, survived. She was just walking home from school. She was wearing this button- you know, like a "I Love East Pete"/ALF button (remember those?) that kids get for getting good grades, right? It said "Lincoln Edison Elem. School All-Stars." She had it on over her heart. The bullet hit the button and ricocheted into her arm. By the grace of God(dess) go each of us, I guess....

Okay, things that annoy me:

1. Chachi women at spas whom you have never met before who call you "princess" and "dear" six times within a five minute period and then tell you have a lot of blackheads and they have some products that could really help you. Ew. Why don't you also point out the fact that I need to lose weight, my glasses (not my cool black ones- I lost those, and I ripped my contact without having a spare) are extremely unflattering, and I have a strawberry stain on my pants? Sheesh. I want to get my eyebrows waxed, not hear about my imperfections, so suck on that, "dearie."

2. Pharmacies that close at 5 p.m. so that one begins to go through a narcotic withdrawal- complete with nausea, lightheadedness, and reappearance of various symptoms of general imbalance- because they can never get there in time to get one's medicine.

3. Running into former superintendents at scholarship functions that one is working for and hearing about how one's favorite teacher, after stating she is one's favorite teacher of all time, was a "liberal, tree-hugging, animal rights activist quack" and said superintendent thinking that is an appropriate thing to say after the initiator of that conversation said she had a great experience at superintendent's school district precisely because of that teacher.

4. Not saying what I REALLY want to because I am a good person, and Gwen told me I shouldn't.

Yeah, I am in a bad mood.

Just got back from a great whirlwind weekend in Boston. I really feel like gushing about how "sublime" (to borrow a turn of phrase that Nick especially fancies- thanks) it was to see the Boyfriend, but I will spare you all the details, except to say that I never thought a *person* could feel like home. I began feeling that way about Stephen during sophomore year at Syracuse, but I always also thought perhaps that it was *college* that was starting to feel like home, not just him. But it is him. Gush, gush, gush...

Alissa's entry about returning to University of Delaware to use the library got me thinking. I have not been back to S.U in the eight months since I graduated but I have been thinking about it a lot, knowing that people are going on Spring Break and thinking about how I spent Spring Break last year, mostly writing the bulk of my senior thesis. I was writing a letter to College Roommate Goddessfriend Erika yesterday about what I miss in Syracuse: Jo, Erika and Jillian; taking Bella to the enclosed amiptheater where there were anywhere from 7 to 20 dogs and their owners chatting, throwing frisbees and being crazy dog people in general at any given time in the spring; my picture story families; the Rose Garden and the retired people who would tend it every Wednesday morning; My Sisters' Words bookstore, seeing a lot of good, free theater; hanging out in the darkroom and spinning on the swivel chairs with Luke and Jill; some of my professors; a community of feminists to be activists with; the feeling of escape as I jumped in the car, usually with Jo, to go "home;" the feeling of nervousness and relief when I returned and first saw the Carrier Dome on the horizon. With my move to Florida imminent and no terribly compelling reason to drive five hours to Central New York, I really wonder how long it will be until I get back there...

What else do I want to say? I want to say something about the things that have been going on on some people's blogs, particularly involving my friends from high school. (College friends and others who read this can skip this part. :) When we first began blogging, I loved it, because i got a little glimpse of people's every day lives. I got to hear about what they were doing, laugh at the funny things that were happening to them, and share the general details of my crazy, random existence. I felt better in touch with some people than I have been in years. But lately, it's just become a way for people to criticize, insult and offend each other, which, frankly, I thought were part of the dynamics I did not miss when we all went our separate ways. I want to stop reading the things that upset me, or read them quietly and not comment, and mostly I do hold my tongue when I read erroneous assumptions about politics I hold dear or read things that I find upsetting about other people's opinions of- oh I don't know- women in general and women I consider to be as close as sisters to me. I am a daughter of the First Ammendment, and I passionately defend the freedom of speech, and I could choose not to listen, not to go to the blogs that I find offensive, or not let it bother me. And I am working on that.

But I do miss you guys, you who know how many times I had to take my drivers' test to pass, who drove home from college in a borrowed tux and took me to the prom on my 18th birthday when my date ditched me at the last minute, who remember each others' first cars and the nicknames for them, who came to see each other in plays and musicals and concerts, who spent their collective adolescences in each others' basements and living rooms and backyards... I love each and every one of you, in all your wholeness, with all the things I agree with and disagree with about each of you. And I don't think that the differences should be erased or that people shouldn't be themselves, but living our lives online and opening up the realms of privacy on the Internet regarding our thoughts and opinions is both innovative and powerful. But lately it just seems that the power has become more like ammunition than connection, and that worries me. I know that I have occasionally slipped, and I apologize for that. We should be good to each other, respect the differences of opinions and actions, and remember why we're friends, even if those reasons relate solely to a shared history and warm old habits.

Okay, non-Old High School Friends, you can begin reading again, :)To all of you, in the words of Garrison Keeler, "be well, do good work, and keep in touch."

So... I haven't been blogging much. I think every day that I am goinhg to come down here and write something, because all kinds of funny, weird things are happening to me, and I think they would greatly amuse all of you, but I am SO TIRED.

I have been substiute teaching a lot. Teaching is exhausting. It's going very well in that I think I have really reached out to a lot of kids. It amazes me how well they respond to someone who is honest with them and who really listens to them. I feel like, in many of the schools where I am teaching, the public school system is doing a grave injustice to these children. I can't explain it. These kids are so needy. It's really sad. I have met at least one child at every school that I could just bring home with me. I don't really feel comfortable going into all the details over the Internet, but let's just say that when I am Queen of the World, people are going to have to get my approval before they procreate.

I have met so many kids who are just- really, really hurting. And some of them- I am not sure what it is I am seeing- I think it's a result of bad prenatal care or drug abuse during pregnancy. It's almost like they are miswired somehow. It's not that they are "bad kids" in regard to misbehavior or giving the sub a hard time. The problems are much, much graver than that.

And there is very little tolerance for children who learn differently. I have definitely met kids who are ghettoized in the classroom- even relating to where they are assigned to sit- because they don't learn from the "work quietly on your worksheet and don't ask questions" method. I gotta tell ya, it makes home-schooling look pretty damn good. I NEVER thought I would say that. I personally had a very good public school education, but some of the injustices I am seeing in the schools make me want to cry, throw things and write to my congressman. Not necessarily in that order. :)

I am also back in a world I never thought I would be in again- where, if you run in the hallway, you have to go back and do it again, for example. Naturally, it's only temporary. June 10th- my start date in Miami- can not come soon enough. I think I am really going to miss my dog, though.

Anyway, Nick, I know you said on your page that we're all so depressing lately. So here- just for you- I ate an orange. I saw a movie. I saw a play. There. Do you feel better now? :)

Okay so this message is about 23 minutes late, but....

Happy Birthday to the person who convinced our parents to let me get my ears pierced,
who shared First Communion with me, not only several years late (due to family conversion) but also several weeks late (due to a shared bout of chicken pox),
who was brave enough to sing "Moon River" with me in the elementary school talent show,
who knows CPR and first aid,
who remembers every car trip vacation, Christmas Eve, and ex-boyfriend,
who insisted I would love Harry Potter,
who bought 14 graduation dresses and returned 13 of them so I could try on dresses in the most fattening color (white) without humilating myself in a dressing room and without having to stop studying for AP tests to go to the mall during the hours it was open,
who can sniff out marked-down cashmere from ten miles away,
who drove five hours through a snowstorm to do my laundry and make me soup when I was sick in college,
who gives away a stunning $50 skirt, the last one in the store, just because I said I *really* like it,
who won the talent portion of a local beauty pagent for singing an aria even though she was dressed as a man, (that still kills me!)
who appreciates the value of an excellent education and delays personal gratification to achieve those goals,
and who taught me to say my first word, "Sissy."

Happy birthday, Amanda! :) May your next 25 years be just as succulent! Love you!