Monday, August 13, 2001

HOORAY! Love the lovely Harlan. Sss blurry good fren, as Bridget Jones would say. I emailed him, and he fixed everything! Now I can see my Web site. Yay! So I had a very good weekend overall. I helped Alissa say goodbye to Tyler, which was extremely sad. I would just like to say that Alissa is strong and good and amazing. I would have been an emotional basket case if the roles were reversed, and I had to put Bella sleep. Blarg. Don't even want to think about it. Tyler went very peacefully. He was a good cat. My Dad was in "Daddy-doer-of-the-impossible" mode, too, as he dug a little grave in our backyard. It was stupid hot. Yay, Dad.

It other news, my Mom fell at Isaac's. She broke her right wrist in two places, and the doctor thinks she broke her left wrist, too, but it may only be a hairline fracture. The left wrist is in a splint now, but she may need two casts. That would suck. A lot. My Mom can be the posterwoman for "Bloody Stump" now. Poor Mom.

OH! I have to tell you about the Imaginary Phone Stool. In my somewhat lonely state here in Lancaster this summer since Kelly and Jason and Scott left for their new, fun, grown-up lives, I have started planning my Imaginary Life. It all started with Wardell Pottery [How do I make that a link, Harlan? :)] where I bought a karma bank- like HEF's God Can, but with Karma. I am now doing things like buying dishes for my imaginary kitchen in the imaginary apartment. Sometimes the imaginary apartment is in DC, sometimes in Boston. It depends on where the latest job prospects are. Right now, the imaginary life is set in Alabama. "'Bama!" (said in Southern Wetzel voice). There is a job prospect there, but now I will shut up or else I may accidentally summon the Kinna Hurra Faerie.

Yummm... Best Reporter Ever Michelle just gave me popcorn. She rocks.

Anyway, I bought dishes for the imaginary life. Okay. I have had my eye on these dishes at Pier One for two months now. Then, last week, I was in Connecticut buying a wedding gift (urg, NOT old enough for friends my age to be getting married... I am the death crone; I am the death crone.) for my boyfriend Stephen's friend Josh's marriage. [Do I really have to say "my boyfriend Stephen?" Is anyone besides my friends really going to read this?] and I saw that Coveted Dishes were on sale. Yay! They were on clearance, which means they are being discontinued. Boo! So I used my SU student ID (bad consumer hell, here I come. SUBVERT CAPITALISM! Whoa there, Marxist Angie) and opened a Pier One charge for the additional 10% discount and used my Pier One gift certificate (Thank you, HEF, GRG and Liss!) and now I, Angela L. Gaul, own a set of Olive Mist dishes. They are purpley and pastel. I also got some of my first-and-a-half choice pattern, but I forget what it's called. I also bought a little teapot that sits on top of a saucer for Jo the British Best College Friend to use when she comes to visit me in the Imaginary Life.

The thing is, my Imaginary Life is totally achievable and do-able. It mostly consists of my living in a nice apartment where I can have my dog which is paid for by a staff photographer position at a respectable (I hope, I hope) newspaper or wire service in a town or city where I know and/or make friends. Sometimes Stephen lives with me in the Imaginary Life. He is always in a relationship with me, however. Oh, and I have short hair a la London Angie in this fantasy. The best thing about the I.L. is that I have an Imaginary Phone Stool. When Alissa moved in June, she was going throw away some white stools that used to live in Heidi's first Doylestown apartment, but she gave them to me instead. We started painting the Imaginary Phone Stool this weekend, which made us think of set-painting and Mr. Lehman.

Also, Mr. Lehman, who is pictured in "Hempfield Happenings," which I was reading in real, pathetic life, is more adorable than ever. He is now a husband and father, in case you didn't know. I bet he still smells good. And yes, godd-mmit, I bet his arm IS still hairy, thank you very much. Jeez. The Imaginary Phone Stool will sit under the phone in the Imaginary Apartment. I will perch on it as I talk on the phone to people I love. It is mostly primary colors right now, but it is also green, too. I am trying very hard not to beat it with the Ugly Stick, as Kelly would say.

Why am I all about the Random Capitalization today? It's even starting to annoy me.

Alissa suggested that I make an Ugly Stick, which can be used to banish away the urge to beat craft projects with the theoretical Ugly Stick. I think I will. Doing craft projects with Alissa is a very good way to ward of ugly vibes. She is very good at undoing ugly accidents.

So that's it. Soon I will follow the advice of a magnet that my sister Amanda gave me last Christmas. It said, "Live the life you've imagined." I will, too. That's all I need. Job with benefits, apartment that allows pets, short hair, magnet, phone stool, Stephen and friends, both new and old. Especially old. :)

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