Okay, technically, the distinguished European professor was conferring degrees to candidates for the Masters of ARTS, but it absolutely came out sounding like "Masters of Farts," which of course, I found hilarious. By the way, Joel graduated this morning! Yes! That's the important thing! Not the fart joke! Ha!
I am more than a little punchy, my friends, because I have been awake (Can't sleep! Too tired to sleep! I know! It sucks!) for 22 scorching, sun-drenched hours of graduation speeches, processions, and recessions, followed by Still! More! Championship! Lacrosse coverage! At 7:15 a.m., when I was dragging my sorry "The Phrase 'Not A Morning Person' Doesn't Really Begin to Cover It" Ass out to the car, I said, "I AM proud and happy for you; can't you tell by my scowl?"
Anyway, I have distilled the three hour commencement experience into this YouTube video for your viewing pleasure. Lucky for you, it only lasts one minute and 17 seconds AND contains a fart joke in the middle. My sunburned parents are probably so jealous that you get to watch the 77 second version in air-conditioned comfort. :)
Of course, what this REALLY means is that the piles upon piles of thesis data are officially no longer Very Important Pieces of Paper (a.k.a VIPP- heh! Pee pee! I'm totally regressing!) that, if thrown away, could cause a crisis of astronomical proportions. Do you know what this means? It means I can see the floor in the office/second bedroom. I could even vacuum it if I wanted to.
Seriously, though, I have so much respect for Joel. He worked full-time all through his undergraduate and graduate studies, so he hasn't had a break from classes, homework, etc since January 1998. I can't even imagine.
I'm so proud and happy for you, baby. Can't you tell by my crazed, insomniac grin?