Friday, July 15, 2005

Wild About Harry

So... I feel like all I'm posting about lately is dating, but it's really the funniest thing I've done in a long time. I had a nice thing going (you know it was going well because I haven't mentioned here yet) with a sweet, warm, funny guy who had a really dorky name. The dorky name was fine, except... well, back in high school, two of my close girlfriends used this name exclusively to speak in code about their periods. (No, he isn't named "Aunt Flo," but that's the general idea.)

Anyway, I realized Aunt Flo has some issues during our first heart-to-heart conversation the other night. And... call me selfish, but I just don't want to be in a serious relationship with a "smitten and endearing, but damaged and probably clinically depressed" boy right now. But not to worry! Aunt Flo just called and bailed on our date for tomorrow night, saying I helped him realize that he needs therapy, not a serious relationship. And he does. He really does.

So I guess my only hot date for this weekend is a book about a certain orphaned British boy wizard and his friends. I can't wait! I can't wait! I may not post for a few days as I chomp my way through Book 6.

Meanwhile, for your enjoyment, here are a few excerpts from emails and profiles of people I will *not* be dating. Ever. (But none of them hold a candle to Peach Pancakes, I have to say.)

Here we go...

"Lets see im white not much else to say, some say i look like jason giambi of the yankees , what do you think?"

"If I trust some as much as they trust me then I can make their every day so magical and make their inner joy and happiness blossom like a morning rose."

"I have clean fingernails."

"My affair with the flute has been a slow blossoming love affair.... In graduate school, I got to study with one of the giants of the flute world."

"The most influential person in my life other than my parents would have to be George W. Bush. This is a man that understands that the right decision isn't always popular, & the popular decision isn't always right. Despite media opinion, George W. Bush is a man with a vision of what needs to be done, and he is a good man with strong religious beliefs and a true sense of love for America."

4 comments:

lauren said...

Okay, that last one may just be scarier than Peach Pancakes. Just sayin'.

kelly said...

Wow...that's bad. It makes me kind of wish I had kept some of the weird and/or creepy shit I got.

Cindy W said...

Ok, they're all pretty horrible - there should be no references to blossoming love affairs in the first email, regardless if he's referring to an inanimate object (and dude, the flute? Seriously?) - but that last guy with the George Bush comment is outta control. I would love to know if/how you responded to him. (Personally, I don't think I could've resisted the urge to send him a long feminist rant.)

Alissa said...

Need Harry Potter NOW!

I preordered it from Amazon, so hopefully it will be delivered tomorrow....for the last one, it actually got delivered a day early...I felt like a little kid who accidentally got locked inside a candy shop. It was so exciting.