Monday, June 27, 2005

Here, kitty kitty kitty (and kitty and kitty and kitty and kitty and kitty)

Oh my God...

I just talked on the phone with a guy I've been communicating with online, you know? And he was so offensive, it was ridiculous. I've never met anyone that I could honestly say "I wouldn't go out with him if he were the last man on Earth" and mean it..... until JUST. NOW.

I would rather die alone (except for my 50 cats) than meet him for coffee. That's pretty bad.


Alissa said...

ooh... what did he say? :)

kelly said...

Yes, do tell! I'll call you after lunch.

Cindy W said...

Ok, I'm with them. What's the story? Perhaps just a quick example or two of his jackassishness?

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

Blecch. Where to begin? He just... ew...

Okay, well, to be fair, I think we just weren't clicking. He was very abrupt and interrupted me a lot. I can be like that, too, especially when I'm nervous. So I sort of overlooked it at first. Also, we weren't seeing eye to eye on things.

Like, he was saying, you know, that he believes in giving money to causes (but only local causes) but not writing letters or volunteering. So, for example, he doesn't like to think about racism "because it doesn't affect him, so he doesn't care." But crack babies are a problem in the city closest to him, so he gives money to an organization that helps that. Also, he supports an abstinence program for teens, but he made a point to say he's also "pro-condom."

Then he asked me if I get to go to Iraq and North Korea, and I said, no, not yet, because only a handful of experienced, elite photojournalists really get to do that. I also said that covering an actual war doesn't appeal to me. Some people think it's very romantic and get addicted to the adrenaline, but I'm definitely not one of them. I did say, however, that I'd like to do the humanitarian stories after the war, such as the healing of Bosnian rape camp survivors, or the first day of school for girls after the fall of the Taliban, etc. And he was like, "Why would you want to do THAT?" Um, why WOULDN'T I? I don't know. Oh, and he asked me what my dream photojournlism project would be.

Me: Oh, actually, I'd really love to do a photo book about the creation of a Torah. I'd like to-
Him: (interrupting) How could you do a story about THAT? The Torah was given to Moses from God thousands of years ago.
Me: Oh, well, okay, so I feel like I should say at this point that I personally don't practice Judiasm, but I think I understand that.... Well, right, so God gave the spoken Torah to Moses along with the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai, but I'm referring to the actual creation of a written Torah scroll, I guess. I've done a few stories about Torah scribes, in Miami and also here, and I'd like to, you know, document the birth of the kosher animal who is sacrificed in a sacred way so it's hide can serve as parchment.... And there are only three families in Israel who grow the only herbs that can be used to make the ink...? And I'd like to photograph the painstaking hours the scribe spends getting each character per-
Him: (interrupting) But why?
Me: Um, because it's a really beautiful process? And then, you know, those scrolls are used at all the most important events in some people's life: bar and bat mitzvahs and weddings and funerals and stuff? I'd try to show that too.
Him: I don't think anyone would buy that. Why would you spend time working on a project that's not marketable? I mean, maybe some people would buy it, but I think everyone who cares about that already knows how a Torah is made. They don't need a book."

OH-kay... So you ask me about DREAM project and then tell me it's unmarketable and stupid? Thanks, buddy.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. There was other stuff, too. He'd ask me about something, and then interrupt me to ask why I care about it/like doing it before I could tell him. I let it go the first six times, because I called him out on the interrupting. So he let me finish, then he'd say, "Well, that's way more information than I needed." He said *that* at least three times.

Then we got a little close to a personal subject I wasn't comfortable discussing. At that point, I said, "Oh, that's a story for another time, I think." And he pushed the point, so I said: "Frankly, I'm not comfortable making myself vulnerable to you right now. Also, it's a long story, and you've said a few times already that I'm giving you way too much information, so I'd hate to do it again" (all said in a warm voice with a little laugh) and he said, "Yeah, but this time I'm actually interested. I actually want to hear about this." Sigh...

There was other stuff.

Then he asked me if we should meet for coffee. I said, "I'm flattered, but I have to say, you don't seem like you like me very much." He got angry and said that I was at least half as responsible for the tense nature of the conversation, and I wasn't acknowledging the fact it was my fault, too. Then I very politely told him to go to hell, without using the words "go" or "hell."

Yup. I'd rather die alone.

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

Oh, but I had a really good dating experience with someone else, too. Fear not.

Cindy W said...

If it's even slightly comforting, a dear friend of mine who recently put herself out in the dating scene wound up spending an evening with a guy who was obsessed with the type of woman that he referred to as a "skunt", which is the combination of a skank and a... yeah. You get it. (Apparently the bar/restaurant they went to was chock full of them, and he felt the need to point each one out to her.) She called me later and told me she wasn't sure she was ready to deal with boys yet. I told her that there are a lot of boys out there who aren't scared of women, and that she just needs a better screening process.

Btw, good for you for refusing to go out with him. No need to waste two hours of your life on that one. And yay for the good date! Wooo!

Lauren said...

And now perhaps there is more blogging about the good date? Yes? :)

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