Thursday, April 29, 2004

Malkovich? Malkovichmalkovichmalkovich. MAL-KO-VICH!

"It's! My! HEAADDD!!!!!!!!!!!

I will see you in COURT!"

-John Malkovich, in "Being John Malkovich."

I have RAGE!!!! I feel like Lauren's cat. I really do.

Short version- AllState (I'm in good hands, my @ss) is refusing to pay for $1,600 of the $4,700 bill to fix my car. I hate them.

To make matters worse, I got stopped in a routine traffic stop, and the officer oh-so-kindly pointed out that the registration of my rental car expired- oh, let's see- LAST SEPTEMBER. Yeah. Thanks, Enterprise. They gave me a free upgrade, though. "In exchange for accidentally renting you an illegal vehicle, we will give you a rental car with power locks." Super!

I am meeting with the claims adjuster at the mechanic's shop tomorrow. The mechanic also has rage issues, which means I will have to play "good cop." I'm bringing doughnuts in hope that the uber-carbs will make us all a little nicer. The adjuster told me he's doing low-carb, so I am taking him fruit salad. This will help him see what a considerate person I am, and he will agree to pay this bill, or I will raze him with my laser-beam vision of HATE and RAGE!!!

If he doesn't agree to pay, the guy who hit me is going to have to. He finally called me back, and told me he's feeling suicidal lately, so he'd rather pay me personally instead of going to court if it comes to that. Great.

In the meantime, I had to make 7 innovative photos of a puppet show this morning. It was a delayed production of the Easter story, including 12 disciple puppets that all chanted (in creepy puppet voices,) "He is risen! He is risen!" I think someone forgot to tell the kids Judas had hung himself by this point in the story. Anyway, the little kids loved it, (I don't think puppets are creepy until you turn 16 or watch puppet-related horror movies, whichever comes first) and the 8th-graders who put it on were proud of themselves.

Still though, between the rage and the puppets, all I can think about is the movie Being John Malkovich. I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT!!!!!!!

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