Tuesday, March 30, 2004

I'd like to buy a vowel..?

For 3 of my 4 years at S.U., the Traditions' Committee would erect a sign on the steps of Hendricks Chapel counting down the last 30 days to graduation. It said, "30[29, 28 etc] Days Til We Out."

It drove Adam crazy. He felt that if we have spent four years earning a university degree, we could at least have the sign say: "There are 30 Days Until We Are Out of Here." It sort of drove me crazy, too. Our senior year, he had big plans to buy spray paint and an alphabet stencil and change it in the middle of the night. I was all for it actually. I shared this in a women's studies class, and the graduate assistant (a woman I just loved) suggested writing "STOP APPROPRIATING BLACK CULTURE" instead. Also a good suggestion. The sign never made an appearance our senior year, which was sort of gratifying, even if Adam had his heart set on stenciling campus property.

So you know that church near my house with the two-sided lettered sign? That one that used to say, "Don't let a hearse bring you to church," remember? and it's grammar struck me as funny?

Well. The sign now says, "Marriage is defined between a man and a woman."

Okay. Yes, I know that the parish staff means to say, "Don't let a hearse be the first thing that brings you to church." I know they mean to say, essentially: "Marriage is a heterosexual holy union."

But still- I have the almost irresistible urge to change the sign. I wouldn't even need stencils. Since it says the same thing on both sides, all I would have to really do is move the letters "W" and "O" from one side to the other and- VOILA! "Marriage is defined between a man and a man" on one side/"Marriage is defined between a woman and a woman" on the other. So. Tempting.

Call me Vanna.

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