Thursday, January 05, 2006

A Post Where I Don't Write "Hell" in the Title

Dear Vacuum,

I am sorry I yelled at you and called you a motherf"cker. You are brilliant marvel of modern cleanliness. I especially like the magic button that makes the bottom drop out of the dust canister. I especially love that you only do that when I am standing over the trashcan, poised and ready. That made up for the unfortunate sock-under-the-bed incident tenfold.

Sincerely,
Your New Owner Who No Longer Regrets Dancing With You

5 comments:

Julia said...

You friggin crack me up. How can you be such a brilliant photographer AND writer? This is why the people who work at chain retail stores are apparently so incompetent and bitter - you have stolen the extra talent that was supposed to be spread out amongst them. It's all becoming clear now...

Cindy W said...

I'm glad that you and your vacuum are no longer on the outs. It's always nice to hear of couples who can set aside their differences and work toward a mutually-gratifying compromise. :-)

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

Oh, Cindy, lover of all things British (except toast crumbs) and owner of many cats, do you know of the eternal love and joy your personal vacuum savior can bring you? Open your heart and be troubled by crumbs no more! The Dyson Pet Hair vacuum wants a personal relatioship with YOU. Open your heart and buy one today! Your $500 (plus tax) donation with grant you favor in the eyes of the Man Who Created All That is Cyclone Suction Technology. I'm gonna go before I start speaking in tongues, but it really is stupendous when properly assembled. :)

Oh, and Jules, aw shucks... thanks..

Cindy W said...

The vacuum and I are but distant strangers in our home. Which is really ok for both of us. It hasn't been used in months (MONTHS!) because, as luck would have it, our housekeeper brings her own. I have no idea what kind she uses, but it is awesome. After she's done, there is nary a cat hair to be found anywhere in the house (except, um, on the cats).

Wetzel said...

My Dyson is the best! To learn to use it is to learn to love it.