Thursday, November 03, 2005

Unemployed!!! in CLEVE-LAND!**

So I'm in an airport in Cleveland. I am on my way to Kelly and Michael's wedding, and may I just say that there is a man here who looks just like Michael? I mean, REALLY looks just like Michael?

It's creepy. I mean, people are flying in from all over for this wedding, so the potential for one of Michael's relatives to be in an airport in Ohio is pretty high, you know? He's standing the same way and every time I look up I do a double-take. I'm not shy; I make friends in the check-out line at the grocery store, but I'm not in the mood to scare this man. Maybe he'll be seated at table 10 or something tomorrow night. Maybe I should stop blogging and start finishing my maid of honor speech. Maybe I should practice my speech on Michael's twin.

"Hi! You look just this guy my best friend is marrying tomorrow? If I said this at your wedding reception, would you like it?" 'Cause THAT's not creepy. Not at all.

** That's a little play on words for the Boyfriend, whom I made watch the Princess Bride for the first time two weeks ago.***

He needs an affectionate little pun right now because I was kind of bitchy this morning when we were trying to get out the door so he could drive me to the airport. In my defense, I- Well... I- I am not a morning person and I couldn't find my DayQuil Sinus pills, which was really frustrating to me, because I *just* had them in my hand mere moments prior, and he was only trying to tell me that I had the liquid form of DayQuil right there in my bag and help me think of places were the pills could be and I don't seem that sick to him- because of the DayQuil, you see?- and it wasn't LOGICAL but in my morning state I felt certain that if I didn't find the DayQuil SINUS as opposed to DayQuil REGULAR that my face would be impacted with goo from the flying and Kelly's wedding would be RUINED. RUINED. RUINED. and it would be all my fault, and he was only trying to be helpful AND he was driving my ungrateful, dragging ass to LaGuardia during rush hour AND I turned the radio off when he was trying to listen to the traffic report AND THEN- being super-logical, I felt the need to be defensive about my irrational need for the DayQuil Sinus pills AND ALL THE WHILE he was driving a load of MY wet laundry back to Queens because my neighbor accidentally spilled detergent all over my CLEAN, DRY LAUNDRY FOR THE TRIP late last night and I didn't have time to dry it and otherwise it would have just grown mold until my return on Sunday. Maybe someday Kelly will tell you all about my psychedelic freak-out when I lost my sunglasses RIGHT before we were supposed to leave for the airport for my trip to Prague. That was "fun." But she still loves me enough to make me her maid of honor... Right? See? And I just apologized in front of the whole Internet, telling them I was wrong AND sorry. That counts for something, no?

I'm a happy, rational person who thinks happy, rational thoughts. I'm a happy, rational person who thinks happy, rational thoughts. (Offer only good after 11 a.m., apparently.)


Alissa said...

Innnnnn with the good air.....

ooooouuuuutttt with the wonky air. :)

Glad you made it to OH safely. See you tomorrow!!

Cindy W said...

If it's any consolation, airports and early mornings also make me super-cranky. Bring the boyfriend a present from Ohio, and all will be well. Doesn't have to be anything fancy; Dave and I had a huge fight the night before I went to Memphis for my bridal shower, and I brought him back an Elvis/guitar pick refrigerator magnet. And we lived happily ever after. Or something.

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