I know an amazing person who has pretty severe diabetes. Like, Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias, Kidney Transplant Required diabetes. She's pretty cavalier about it. The last time I saw her, she was like, "You know what? I need a martini!" AND I KID YOU NOT, she pulled a syringe right out of her purse, stuck it through her oh-so-smart, black Donna Karan pantsuit and injected insulin right into her thigh. And then got our server's attention to order her drink "with a twist." This person is a mentor of mine anyway, but in that moment, my jaw dropped. I laughed, clinked her glass with my Diet Coke and thought: "Role Model."
So I'm not shy about the fact that I take anti-depressants. I have many, many gifts, but subtlety is not among them. I'm okay with that. In fact, I've been reading quite a few blogs lately where people are talking about their daily doses of Effexor. I'm thinking about starting a new blogroll, actually. Forget "mommy bloggers;" that's soooo 2004. This is the year of the "Effexor Bloggers!" Heh.
So you know, I like to say that I have my emotional baggage, but I've spent a lot of time making sure it's cute and it all matches. I had a lot of support from educated and supportive family members who knew my brain chemistry might go boink! at some point.
It's true that making peace with my body will be a lifelong journey, but my relationship with food is, at the moment, pretty decent. Of course, it's also true that I don't like to talk about my weight. (Period. No criticisms OR compliments, please! Nope! Thanks anyway! I know you mean well, but if we dwell on this subject too long I might be up all night trying on all my clothes to make sure they still fit! It's FUN! Woo hoo! Keep movin' folks! Let me show you how I can break boards with my feet instead! Yeah, my body does that. Cool, huh?)
But I think I knew my Food Issues were officially under control about three and a half years ago, when Alissa (psychology internship applicant extraordinaire- keep it up! You're doing great!) pointed out that my recipe book for crepes was right next to Geneen Roth's "Why Weight? A Guide to Ending Compulsive Dieting" on my bookshelf. Along those lines, I just got a care package from home containing (wait for it; wait for it) whoopie pies and anti-depressents.
Awesome. I think my therapists Cindy, Linea, Francis, Dr. Bruette, that Other Mean Lady I Only Saw Twice, Because I Might Be Crazy But You're a Bitch and Susan would be proud.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
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2 comments:
Yeah, maybe I should clarify that a little. In an ordinary conversation, like my friends telling me I looked hot in a bar in the Village last Saturday, I can say thank you. Or when a nice Internet friend, such as yourself, tells me I'm beautiful, well... thank you! :) Yes, that I can do.
It's when people notice I've lost weight and want to talk about it that I don't like it. I feel like it they notice that I lost it, they'll notice when I gain it back. I just don't like it, and my friends and family know that. It's one of my cute pieces of matching emotional baggage left over from my Dieting Era.
And some of those whoopie pies are winging their way to Washington State. :) You really must try them sometime when they are same-day fresh. If we ever have a chance to be together in my hometown 3,000 miles from where you live on a Tuesday, well then... my treat!
I have a feeling Gaby would love some same-day fresh ;whoopie pies...and since I only make it to the state where your hometown is to walk 60 miles and come away with gross feet and pulled tendons...I may have to make a trip for something nice.
And now, the seriousness. I have the same weight issues as you, only reversed. I lose weight like crazy, inexplicably (actually, we can explain it, we just don't like to talk about it), and people always seem to notice...and I don't like to talk about it. (I know, poor me, I'm *too* skinny.) My point is that I think women, no matter where they fall on the spectrum, have weight issues, and good for you for battling yours. I'm still working on mine. (and trying to gain some weight so my pants will stop falling down, so feel free to send me some of yours)
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