The Cat Who Cried Wolf

meowing
Originally uploaded by GypsyPeach.

So, anyone who'se ever met my cat (or tried to talk to me on the phone) knows that he meows all the goddamn time. He is honestly the world's loudest cat. He's not in pain, though sometimes he IS hungry. He just walks around... screaming. RROW. RROW. RROW. When he really gets going, he just lets loose with an emphatic MOW! MOW! MOW!

Every now and then, I swear he's talking to himself. He just wanders around all, "RROW. RROW. Meh? meh meh meh. Meee-OW. Mow-squeeek? RROW MOW! MOW! MOW! Meh."

Whatever, dude, just don't hurt yourself.

He's not a cuddler, but when he wants attention (usually when I'm on the phone and editing photos on the laptop and keeping the dog away from my dinner) he gets right next to the phone and SCREAMS, as if to say, "Hey! Hey! Look at me! Me ! ME! MOW! MOW!"

My mom holds entire "conversations" with him when that happens. No comment.

So last night, I had all the windows open. He was walking around muttering to himself, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, sometimes he lets loose with a Fugue for MOW and Whimper just to entertain himself, and *that's* nothing out of the ordinary.

So when I was getting ready for bed, I didn't even bother to investigate the plaintive meows coming from the other room, which for other cats might mean, "I am trapped under something heavy!" 'cause that's just Fred. As I was falling asleep, I noticed he hadn't climbed up on the foot of the bed, but sometimes he stays up all night lovingly grooming plastic bags, so...

Anyway, when I rolled out of bed around 1 p.m. (Shut up, my first assignment was at 4) I was a little surprised to hear him screaming in the other room. The door blew shut from the draft coming through the open windows and trapped him in the office with no access to the litterbox. DOOM. DOOM! Let's just say an Improvisational Fred is not a Happy Fred. But still, he walks around all, "Meh? Meh meh? rrow-rrow-rrow? MOW! MOW! MOW!! " every day so how was I supposed to know that last night that meant, "Hi? I need the litter box? You know, the pee pee place? BOX! BOX! BOX!"

Sigh.

Hey Fred, who was the leader of communist China in the 60s?

MAO!

Good boy.