Tuesday, June 15, 2010

You've Been Warned...

If one more person is rude to me, and I mean just one more, I can not be held accountable for my actions.

I used to have this semi-monthly feature here called Jackass of the Month. People have been asking me why I've stopped blogging here (hi Jesse! Thanks for delurking; you're nice!) and the honest-to-god reason is that there are sooooooo many, many people who would qualify for Jackass of the Month. I am up to my eyeballs in bullshit, and some of it is downright hilarious, but I just can't write about it for two reasons.

1.) It's just not the kind of dirty laundry best aired on the internet and
2.) At this point, I wouldn't know where to begin.

I am, however, seriously thinking about taking up a hobby, such as hardcore drinking. If one more person swears at me, rips me off, manhandles my gear, mocks my voice in a shitty, petty, snotty imitation of something I have just explained, gives me crap about my First Amendment-protected right to do my goddamn job, or is, in general, impolite, unkind, downright mean or befuddlingly toxic, I am going to vent my spleen. Woe betide you, public at large. You have been warned.

Meanwhile, the first draft of craiglist ad in the jobs wanted category:

Formerly competent photographer and upstanding citizen seeks job as hermit. Special skills include wild-eyed raving, whimpering in solitude, and poop-throwing. Am willing to consider free hermit services in exchange for hovel, if available for immediate occupancy.

1 comment:

Cara said...

I'm sorry there are so many jackasses out there. Here's a funny, karmic story: I honked at a driver the other day (who was texting at a green light). I had my window down and a cyclist pulled up to me and told me, "A%%%ole! Horns are for EMERGENCIES." He then pedalled across the street and fell on the sidewalk on his bike. I saw that he was okay (sitting up) and then honked and waved as I drove by.