Friday, September 26, 2008

Recurring Nightmare

For the past few weeks now, I've been having this recurring nightmare that I need to write a 46-page English paper. I've had this nightmare at least six times. The assignment is always the same: 46 pages, for an English class. I'm usually sitting in a high school math class when I realize that English is next period.

The dream varies slightly at this point. Either I've a.) completely forgotten that I had an English class at all that particular semester and since I've never gone to class I'm going to fail the course UNLESS I kick ass on this 46-page paper. b.) The 46-page English paper is due the next day and I have no idea what I'm going to write about, period. c.) The 46-page English paper is due at the end of the day and I have to churn out all 46 pages in the library in one 45-minute study hall or d.) The 46-page English paper was due yesterday, and if I get it in really soon, I'll be docked points, but if it's PERFECT I'll still pass.

Oh, man. I hate this dream. It feels so real. A lot of time I wake up with a huge rush of relief that I don't actually have to do this. A lot of times in the dream, I am the adult me who is just annoyed that I have to go back to high school at all because I have so much else to do. On the other hand, I wish I could stop having this dream altogether. This morning, in my half-sleepy state but after I had the adrenaline rush of relief that it was only a dream, I actually had the thought that I should just write a, say it with me, 46-page English paper so I could stop having this dream. Sheesh.

5 comments:

michelle said...

And what would the subject be? Maybe you're supposed to write a 46-page blog entry on something?

Alissa said...

Is there something you've been putting off or ignoring? :)

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

Not so much. I need to get cracking on editing your wedding video some more, and I need to make a copy of our wedding invitation for a friend of Joel's. Oh, and I have a photo book for the girl who played Christine in the Phantom project that I've been trying to give her since July, but that's as much about her calling me back as anything.

Judy said...

I have a reoccuring dream that I am taking a science class in college but I didn't know I had a science class until it was final exam time. I need to pass the exam in order to graduate in a few days.

I go to the exam and take a seat, but everywhere I sit, someone comes in and tells me that was their seat the entire semester that I didn't show up. I finally find a seat and when I look at the exam, I can't see it well enough to asnwer anything, and then I wake up.

A. This is weird b/c we are mother and daughter and have similar dreams.

B. What does this dream mean? Alissa?

Alissa said...

Lol. It's a pretty common anxiety dream, actually. I've had the same dream where it's the end of the year and I suddenly realize I haven't been to class all year. I also have a dream sometimes where it's a few weeks into the semester and I suddenly realize that I haven't been to a certain class, but when I decide to go, I can't find the classroom or I can't decipher my schedule and I'm wandering around the empty building while everyone else is in their classes and I can't find mine. Sometimes it's math. Sometimes it's gym class. Neither of those were ever my favorites, so maybe it means there's something that you don't really like or want to do, and you're avoiding it, but avoiding it makes you feel anxious?

Classical dream interpretation usually states that the material that comes through in dreams is material that we've repressed, so you wouldn't necessarily be able to "remember" what the thing is that you're avoiding - it's something that is so worrisome that we bury it out of our conscious awareness, but it kind of eats away at us subconsiously, and pops up in dreams or some other kind of subconscious behaviors.

Which is really just a long drawn out way to say that I have no idea, but I would guess that there's something making you (Ang) feel anxious that you're not consciously aware of. :)