Hi. I've been awfully quiet on the blog. Nothing's wrong, I'm just... Meh. I'm feeling lonely, lazy, hungry, grumpy, cranky, poopy and apparently, whiney. Jesus, look at me, I'm practically Snow White to a whole new set of malcontented dwarves.
FASTEN SEATBELTS- ABRUPT CONVERSATION CHANGE
It seems like there have been a lot of conversations going on around me- online, at work, among friends- about babymaking and siblings and bringing home adopted baby sisters and whether or not to try for #2. My mom always said when I was growing up that she was glad that Amanda and I have each other, because there would always be another person who would remember the same Christmas mornings and family vacations.
And it's true. It's totally true. When a friend adopted two guinea pigs a few months ago, I mentioned that they were the exact same coloring as Heaven and Nature, the guinea pigs I had when I was four. I named them that because they squealed a lot, and it sounded like singing to me... I supposedly drew from a line from the Christmas carol "Joy to the World," where the chorus goes, "And Heaven and Nature sing," you know?
Anyway, on Sunday, Amanda happened to meet aforementioned friend's guinea pigs, as well as her four-year-old daughter. Bear in mind, this is 25 years after the rabbit that my sister got at the same time as I got the guinea pigs kicked the bucket because it crawled out of its hutch and ate leaves from the magnolia tree the bunny/piggy cage was under. (traumatic)
She glanced in the cage, and the first thing out of her mouth was, "They're identical to Heaven and Nature!" I'm glad she remembered that, and I'm glad she remembered it absent any reminder from me.
I had a great time last weekend, seeing all kinds of fun people in Baltimore and celebrating a variety of birthdays and whatnot. I always feel deflated and blue after seeing the sister and sisterfriends. My life always, always feels like it shrank in the wash after I come home. I just want more.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
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2 comments:
There's just something about January, I think, that sends everyone into the doldrums. (even 4 year olds)
I heard Amanda talking about Heaven and Nature, but I think that was about the time Tyrone was trying to escape from the ferocious Gaby. :)
Hope the malcontented dwarves leave your house soon. It must be sort of crowded in there with all seven of them, and Joel and the pets.
And I must say, seeing in person the relationship you and all the sisterfriends have with each other is really lovely. One of the good things about being a military kid is making friends easily and being able to find your place in any situation...and the bad thing is that except for very few people, I just don't have that sort of history you have with the sisterfriends with anyone. It was very sort of heartwarming (in a non-icky way -- hate that word, but brain is tired) to see you all together.
I absolutely love the way you write, and take pictures, and tell stories, and love your pets, and connect with people, and have bagels/donuts/coffee/OJ at your house at 8am on the Saturday before Christmas for some weary travelers, and on and on and on...It's much easier for others to look in on our lives and see all the fabulous qualities about us and our existence. We look at others and somehow the grass is always greener, as the saying goes. I guarantee someone at your Baltimore weekend was thinking "God, Angie has a job she loves, an awesome apartment in Westchester, a great boyfriend, amazing pets, a loving family, and a KILLER camera. I wish I had (some or all of) that." It's just the nature of human beings. And I am the "A number one look at that green grass over there" girl, so I speak from experience.
I have no advice to help bring you out of the doldrums, but I can suggest that the next time something happens to you that you REALLY love (like a foot rub from Joel or a perfect parking job done under duress in downtown Manhattan), you should stop and take a second and think "My life is good at this very moment."
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