Friday, June 30, 2006

Who hates Stupid Death Week? I do! I do!

There are only 20 minutes left to get yourself killed before I walk out of here at 5 p.m. on the dot. Hear that, citizens? You have only TWENTY minutes to partake in Stupid Death Week before I head home for the long holiday weekend.

This is your last chance to get so drunk that you fall out of a boat and drown, drive drunk and hit an 11-year-old, jump off the Not-Getting-Dooced Bridge, or get beaten to death, okay?

Interestingly enough, Stupid Death Week 2006 brought us a new twist- A teenager's life was saved by his friends WHO HIT HIM WITH THEIR CAR. That's right, folks. A kid got really, really drunk at a graduation party and stumbled into the path of his friends' car. After knocking him over at a very slow rate of speed, someone called 911. The ambulance arrived and pumped his stomach JUST IN TIME to save him from alcohol poisoning. Good thing he got hit oh-so-gently by that car. If he had just passed out on the sidewalk, he would have died. Awesome.

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie wants you to LIVE!


shannon said...

I hate weeks like that. Sometimes our jobs really suck.
And sometimes they are really good. :)
Hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend!

cindy w said...

Ok, totally showing my roots here: When you said "stupid death week," I thought you meant what we used to call in Memphis "Dead Elvis Week". It's the anniversary of the King's death, and every year at that time, the city is swarming with tourists and the traffic is hellish.

So yeah, in my just-woke-from-a-nap brain, I thought "Stupid Death/Dead Elvis week? But it isn't mid-August yet..."

I think Stupid Death Week wins as a worse occasion. Yeesh.

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

I always refer to the week after high school graduations as "Stupid Death Week." Since 1999, when I did my first internship at the Dork Raily Yecord, I always always always have to cover terrible heartbreaking news in June. Bah. Hate it. Come to me, July.